The Quiet in Our Home


Our Beloved Reagan
2006-2016 
“I AM ALWAYS slightly suspicious of people who don’t like dogs in the house,” said the New York City-based interior decorator and author Bunny Williams, who is also mother to six rescued mutts. If you pay attention, she said, pooches will “always show you the coziest places in the house to curl up.”  - Bunny Williams, The Wall Street Journal

Well friends, it was a day I knew was coming.  On Friday, we said goodbye to our dear sweet dog, Reagan.  I'll be honest, the grief is hitting me harder than I thought it would - the tears come on suddenly and I find myself wishing more than anything that I could have her back.  Kip and I adopted her from a shelter almost ten years ago, before we were married.  She marks the beginning of our life together and probably the moment we both knew our future was together.  She's been with our family through more big life moments than I think I will ever experience again - 3 moves, an engagement, a wedding and two babies.  And we loved her.

In June, she was diagnosed with nasal carcinoma, an aggressive and rare cancer in the nose.  We opted out of radiation as the prognosis wasn't much better with the treatment.  I didn't want to put her through more trauma than she had already been through. We looked at alternative treatments, none of which panned out.  So we waited, treated the symptoms, cleaned up her bloody sneezes and tried to enjoy our last few months with her.

And when I could see that her pain was so great that she couldn't go on, I took her to the vet still believing that he could maybe do something and I could bring her home.  But it was time, and I knew it.  It wasn't hard in the moment because she looked so awful, and I just wanted her free of pain.  I was in "do whatever needs to be done" mode and completely focused on her.  At first, I felt a sense of relief that it was over: the anticipation, the wondering whether or not she was ok, the constant blood stains and sneezes that occupied my day.  I was sad, but practical.  She had a long life, didn't have to suffer, and thank God this wasn't one of my children.

But the days since have been harder than I could have imagined.  She was connected to me in such a way that every movement I made in the house affected her and every movement she made affected me.  I didn't even really realize this until she was gone.  I knew and understood her better than I thought one could know and understand a dog.  I could anticipate her feelings and now that she's suddenly gone, it's a huge void.  So today's post is dedicated to our sweet girl Reagan, and all of the dogs that live in our homes, the dogs that protect our homes and families, and give our homes the life and love that we sometimes take for granted.  Whenever I see a pretty room with a dog in it, I love it more because I know it has a soul.


House Beautiful

HRH Lily in House Beautiful

Charlotte Moss in Veranda

Charles Faudree Country French Legacy

Jenny Wolf Interiors

The French Dog

House to Home

Michael S. Smith

Meredith Heron in House and Home

The French Dog

Architectural Digest

Architectural Digest

Architectural Digest

Charles Faudree Country French Legacy

Louise Townsend via JustJanBlog

House Beautiful via Betsy Speert's Blog


14 comments :

  1. I am so sorry for your loss. It took me many years to get another dog after we lost our first so I know your pain. Right now I am staring at my sleeping white lab on my dark blue ottoman with piles of dog hair all over my hardwood floor. I hate every minute of this shedding but I know I will be a blubbering mess when it is all gone. xo, MB

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  2. I am so sorry Jennifer. Such a loving tribute to your sweet dog, Reagan. Our lab just turned 11 and is starting to slow down considerably. I know the day will be coming and I don't even know how we will deal with it. My heart goes out to you, the loss is too great to bear.

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  3. Dear sweet Reagan~You will be missed more than you know. You took such good care of my daughter when I had to leave her so she could go to law school. I would come to visit and you would greet me as one of your besties. You would protect me by sleeping right outside my room. You protected the babies from rolling down the stairs by standing guard between la bebe and the stairs, trying to get my attention. And you scared away anyone who dared to ring the doorbell with the deepest "woof", sounding so scary, but still rubbing up on us, waiting for our loving rubs. Sweet Reagan, you were a dear. Thank you for keeping us together and safe. We will miss you!!

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  4. I'm so sorry. Losing a furry member of your family definitely leaves a big hole in your heart. Reagan sounds like he was one of the best-thoughts and prayers to your entire family.

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  5. My heart breaks for you. What a beautiful tribute to an obviously well loved dog. Part of her will always be with you. I am so sorry for your loss.
    Shelley

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  6. I am so sorry for your loss and pain that I know you are going through. I just lost my Sophie in September, and like you, I will erupt into tears and wish her by my side. She was 13 and putting her to sleep was the hardest and most painful thing I have ever experienced. Pam

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  7. Our pets leave an enormous emptyness with their absence. This s because they have such big hearts, and their love in turn makes us better people, with more love to share with others. I always wish that my pets could stay with me longer, but they will always be in my heart. Sending you love at this time

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  8. I am so sorry for your loss. It is awful to put down a beloved pet. I lost my best friend two years ago. Flicka was a black cocker spaniel and was also diagnosed with nasal cancer. I elected not to treat as the recovery percentage was not very good. I didnt want her to suffer any more. I still find spots of blood from her sneezes. I am hopeful flicka has welcomed reagan to heaven.

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  9. So sorry for your loss. I think one of the hardest things we go through when we have our beloved pets, is knowing that one day we have to "let them go." We lost our beloved golden retriever Cassie several years ago, but I carry her with me everyday in my heart. Thinking of you and your family…
    And on the lighter side, FYI, Cassie is my screen saver on my phone, not my husband, nor my grown sons, nor my beautiful granddaughters :)

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